are you still at the devil's house?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Found the puke drawer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
