You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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