I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
