She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
