yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize