because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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