we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
