It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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