I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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