he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
