Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
