i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
