Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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