even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
