I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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