The maid of honor just puked.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
