Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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