Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize