she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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