Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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