it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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