i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
