I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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