dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
