he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
