so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
