if you like me you must not know who I am
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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