Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
