Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
