Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
