If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize