I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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