I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My bed smells like the plague
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
