either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
