No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
