In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
