listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
