just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize