just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
