biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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