Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
