yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
