apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize