you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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