yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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