i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
