I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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