Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
