if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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