I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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