it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
