i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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