distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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