I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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