I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize