I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
