dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
