dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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